Ten Lessons in Love
by Xiyazaki
Summary: It was no secret that Inuyasha loved Kagome- except to the young girl herself. Ready to admit his true feelings for her, the confused hanyou turns to Miroku for some "words of wisdom" on romance. Love was never this complicated.
1. Doubtful

Ten Lessons in Love

Chapter One

"Sit!"

Chunks of the earth flew up into the air as the hanyou released a string of muttered curses. A clawed hand exhaustedly appeared out of the deep crater his body had created on impact with the ground, and a moment later, Inuyasha's dirt-smeared face peeked out of the hole, curses still tumbling from his mouth. He was about to hoist himself out, but Kagome's furious expression halted his movements.

The hanyou narrowed his eyes. "What the hell was _that_ for?" Inuyasha snarled, agitated. All he had done was offer the wench a compliment, and this was how she repaid him?

"I can't believe you just said that!" Kagome snapped at him.

"What? All I said was that you'd probably be able to get a date if you didn't talk all the time." It was an innocent suggestion! After all, _she_ was the one who had just been ranting to Sango about how she had _nothing_ to do at home because she didn't have a boyfriend. It wasn't _his_ problem, and he personally felt that it had been rather nice of him to offer the little suggestion.

"I...you..." Kagome struggled for words, her face livid with frustration. Her mouth opened and closed without sound, her fists tightening with every breath she took. "You..._insensitive jerk_! _I_ _hate you!"_ With that, she whipped around, anger radiating from her body as she stormed over to Kaede's hut.

Inuyasha cringed, able to hear the sounds of Kagome's voice as she vented her irritation through her denigration of his actions to the old woman.

Sango, obviously concerned about her best friend's well being, looked to trail Kagome into the hut and calm her down. She turned to go, but a warm, soft wall of violet rose to block her off when Miroku slithered into her path, wearing that trademark winsome smile of his. Rather sickening, really, the hanyou thought contemptuously. The fool was actually trying to _hit_ on her after what had just happened?

"I'm sure she'll be fine, Sango," Miroku smiled, his ivory teeth sparkling with incandescence as the sunlight spilled over his face. Inuyasha couldn't help but watch in curious disgust; how far would the bastard get _this_ time?

Probably not very, he snickered softly. At least Miroku's pathetic attempts to win Sango over would momentarily overshadow his bleak situation with Kagome...

The hanyou noted, with an amused expression, that Miroku's hands were nearing Sango's back, his fingers moving craftily with lust and no shame.

"She looked pretty upset to me..." Sango murmured. "I think I should go check on her."

The monk's face was intensely serious as he closed the gap between their bodies.

Inuyasha grabbed Shippo by the tail- the little runt shouldn't have been allowed to watch such a loss of dignity- and clamped his fingers over his eyes. The kit whined in protest, but a punch to the head ceased the cantankerous racket.

"Sango, would you mind if I checked on something first myself?" Miroku continued.

She blinked in response. "Huh?"

Silence.

It was then when the exterminator noticed one of Miroku's hands were out of sight, and when she felt something rubbing her in an inappropriate spot that she comprehended the question. A heated, furious blush spread over her cheeks, and the resounding echo of a slap that followed deleted the silence from existence.

"Hentai!" She stormed off, looking just as agitated as Kagome had a few moments earlier.

Now that _that_ was over, Inuyasha's guilt rose up from the pits of his stomach, and engulfed him like flames.

The hanyou's ears twitched, and flattened abashedly against the side of his skull in a miserable sort of way. His casually rough and condescending smirk had faded away, in its place a somber curve of deep perplexity. Inuyasha always hated the way that Kagome berated him for his words; it wasn't as if he was _intentionally_ trying to piss her off...

It just sort of...always seem to happen on its own.

He'd tried desperately to be tactful, and to not offend her, but it was really to no avail. He thought back irritably- not to mention jealously- to a time after one of Kagome's violent explosions, where he had overhead her telling Sango about some baka who went to school with her. All Kagome had done was ramble on and on about how this 'Hojo' guy was always acting with decorum; the boy _had_ to be a total sissy and suck-up. No one could act that polite all the time. ...Could they?

"Inuyasha, I must say, you have an interesting way with the ladies." Miroku wandered over towards the crater and eased himself into a comfortable seating position on the grass. The slap mark that Sango had left on his cheek was quite tenacious; no amount of cradling or rubbing would make it disappear from sight.

Shippo ripped himself free of Inuyasha's grip and scampered onto Miroku's shoulder. "That means you suck, you big jerk!" the kitsune glared, sticking his little pink tongue out at the hanyou.

"Shut up, you little brat!" Inuyasha made a ripping motion with his claws, baring his fangs in a feral manner at the kit. Shippo squeaked and nearly toppled off the monk's shoulder, his claws digging into the monk's back as he tried frantically to rebalance himself. Miroku twitched slightly at the sensation of Shippo's claws scraping his flesh, but he was able to maintain an austere expression.

He sighed. "Our young friend may have a point, Inuyasha."

Inuyasha sulked. "Well, it's not like I'm trying to...she's just- I mean, one moment I'm...and then...she's just..."

A pause.

"Damn it!" He declared, as if that would make up for his inability to express his thoughts clearly. He paused again, his ears seeming to droop, a slight tremulousness creeping into the honeyed tone of his pupils.

Miroku said nothing, waiting patiently for Inuyasha to finish his train of thought.

"You don't think she really hates me...do you?" the hanyou asked softly and suddenly, his gaze drifting towards Kaede's hut.

Miroku tapped his fingers lightly across his chin thoughtfully and grinned. "Of course not, Inuyasha! After all, think of all the times I've screwed up with Sango! She doesn't hate me!"

He had just finished that statement, when a thunderous yell of "I _hate_ that monk!" made the ground tremble. It was Sango, no doubt.

Inuyasha and Shippo glanced at Miroku, who had stopped moving, that falsely cheery smile still on his face.

_He's finally snapped,_ Inuyasha smirked.

"Miroku?" Shippo prodded the monk in the face with his claw, trying in vain to draw his attention. Miroku twitched, the smile seeming quite forced now, especially since he had stopped breathing.

There was only one thing that could save him now.

A woman's slap.

But all the women at the moment were in Kaede's hut. And by the looks of things, they probably wouldn't be coming out for a _while_. Being rather impatient at the moment, Inuyasha decided that he would just have to _improvise_, really.

The hanyou, crafting a wicked smile, lifted his hand in a slapping motion.

Grinned maliciously at the last moment...

Suddenly curled his fingers into a fist and punched the monk in the face.

Hard.

Inuyasha bit his lip to restrain from cursing and winced, tenderly pulling back his fist. He cradled his red fingers to his chest, grimacing. He'd probably just broken every single one of his fingers! Miroku's face felt like it was made of stone. No _wonder_ he was able to withstand Sango's frequent slaps.

The monk apparently hadn't noticed anything, but came to. "I'm sure she's just kidding!" Miroku laughed heartily. Inuyasha and Shippo both cleared their throats nervously.

Miroku placed a finger on his chin. "Anyways, Inuyasha. I know exactly how to fix your problem."

Inuyasha glared at him. "_What_ problem? I don't have a-"

The monk ignored him and continued. "What you need, my friend, is to memorize Miroku's Ten Lessons in Love."

"What the hell? _Lessons_? There are _lessons_ for this? There's no way that I'm- _Ow_! You bastard!" Inuyasha growled, tenderly massaging his head. Stupid Miroku and his stupid staff. The hanyou warily eyed the monk's staff, growling again. What the hell was thing _made_ of, anyway?

Miroku smiled. "And I'll do it again if you don't pay attention. Besides, think about it. You _obviously_ need help when it comes to Kagome. Think about it. Who gets more women than anyone?" He smiled again and exaggeratedly gestured to himself, obviously waiting for Inuyasha to say that _he_ was.

Inuyasha paused for a second.

Miroku's smile started to falter.

The hanyou's gaze turned towards the monk. Of course! It was so obvious who Miroku was talking about!

Miroku's smile immediately brightened again.

"Shippo does!" The hanyou declared after several more moments of thinking. It was true, after all. All of the women that they'd run into on their search for the Shikon Jewel had fallen in love with the kitsune at first glance. They'd sit there for hours, cuddling the stupid brat. Inuyasha didn't see anything particularly cute about the pest, but who could understand women anyway?

Miroku twitched angrily and whacked Inuyasha in the face with his staff.

"Hey! Are you insane?" Inuyasha shouted. 

_Whack! _

"Ow! What's your problem?"

_Whack! Whack!_

"Okay, okay! Damn you! I give! _You're_ the ladies man! Stop hitting me!" Inuyasha had shielded his head with his arms, cringing as he waited the next bitterly pathetic attack.

Miroku lowered his staff and resumed his cheery disposition. "Well, now. That wasn't so bad, was it?"

The hanyou rolled his eyes in an exasperated manner. "Whatever. And who said I had a problem, anyway? Huh?!"

Shippo jabbed his tiny finger into Inuyasha's face. "It's so obvious you like Kagome! Stop denying it!"

Inuyasha was fuming now. "Why...you little-!" He smacked the kitsune into the ground.

Shippo squeaked in obvious pain, and, pulling his face out of the dirt, glared at Inuyasha while rocking back and forth in pain. "Owie..."

"Come now, Inuyasha. You surely feel more towards Kagome than as her friend, do you not? After all, you two have been through a lot together..."

Inuyasha shifted uncomfortably, knowing that Miroku was indeed right. But his pride flared back. "Yeah? So? You and _Sango_ have been through a lot together too. That doesn't mean _anything._"

Miroku shrugged. "Perhaps. Personally, I've realized that I care a lot for Sango. And I don't just mean as a friend."

The hanyou's eyes widened. "You mean that you..."

Miroku brushed off the implication with an impatient, lazy wave of his hand. "Let me ask you something then, Inuyasha. Answer truthfully. Do you _love_ Kagome?" He interpreted the half-demon's silence as confirmation, but waited patiently for a verbal affirmation.

The hanyou's head had lowered in solemn reflection. He could sense Shippo and Miroku's anticipation for his response, though he was sure that they already knew. But what was he going to say? Just blurt out something that took him days...weeks..._months_ to realize? Nah. Too much pride.

Inuyasha lifted his gaze, scowled, and crossed his arms. "So you gonna' help me out or not?"

The monk nodded and smiled. "Indeed I am." He leaned in forward, compelling Inuyasha and Shippo to do the same. Things were getting serious now. "Now. Listen carefully. Lesson Number One..."

* * *

Inuyasha muttered angrily to himself as he adroitly clambered out of the hollow well and into Kagome's time period. He remained crouched on top of the well, his face grim with intense thought as he debated over whether he was really going to follow through with Miroku's advice or not. It was _Miroku's _advice on _women_, for crying out loud. That made things a hell of a lot riskier. Inuyasha sighed, slumping even further into a demonic crouch. He should've asked Shippo for help instead.

Hmm? Inuyasha's eyes flickered, watching in amusement as a firefly flitted around him, finding its glow a comfort in the constricting darkness of night. That is, until it started flying closer and closer to his face. Inuyasha waved the bug away impatiently, trying to straighten out his doubt about the lesson. The firefly retaliated and landed on the hanyou's nose.

Inuyasha glared at it, and swatted it away again. No use. The firefly came back, more persistent than ever, zooming in and out of range, stopping sporadically to perch itself on his face. Inuyasha growled loudly, his arms flailing madly around in the air. His hand shot out to catch the evasive insect, grabbed air, and, still thrashing around, he lost his balance, toppling off the side of the well and onto the floorboards in the shrine.

He groaned in pain. Eyes darting about suspiciously to make certain that no one had heard the crash, he slowly eased himself off the ground and departed from the shrine. Without any effort at all, Inuyasha furtively climbed the towering oak tree next to Kagome's window, skillfully balancing his weight on a branch.

The light was on in Kagome's room, and Inuyasha sidled closer to the window, peering inside, where he observed her silently. He was no idiot; he pressed his body as close to the branch as possible so that if Kagome were to glance out the window, he would remain safely hidden from her view. However, he did _not_ account for the fact that his ears were still sticking up, and were very noticeable, hovering in view outside of her window.

Scowling, he kept in mind what Miroku had told him before he had left for Kagome's time.

"Lesson Number One. Find out what her interests are. Watch and study her- find out what she does like and what she doesn't. Follow her around if you have to." Miroku nodded after finishing this statement, seemingly pleased with his first rule.

_Inuyasha glared at the monk. It was obvious that the idiot had made it up. "You mean stalk her?"_

_Miroku cleared his throat. "Of course not. Just do what I do with Sango."_

_Inuyasha smirked. "Right. Stalking it is." _

Inuyasha's scowl deepened at the memory, for that _slightly_ sarcastic comment had earned him yet another bump on the head. He wasn't sure that Miroku's advice would get him anywhere; the only thing that he now knew about Kagome was that she liked cats. It was probably instinct, but he had never liked her cat. The last time he had visited Kagome, she had left the room for a mere second to fetch him some ramen- he had pestered her into it- and the little fur ball slipped into the room, plopping itself on the floor. It sat there. Just _staring_ at him. That stupid animal had resulted in another explosive fight, as Kagome happened to walk back into the room just when he had been about to cut of its head with Tetsusaiga.

What'd she keep that thing around for, anyway? Kagome was now sitting on her bed with that dumb, fluffy animal in her arms as she talked to it. He wondered what she was talking about...

He eased his way further along the branch, to the point where the flimsy thing nearly broke, and leaned towards the window, his ears flickering eagerly as he strained to hear the conversation...

* * *

"...and I can't help getting upset, you know?" Kagome sighed, scratching Buyo behind the ears. The neko purred loudly, pausing to nuzzle her fingers happily. Kagome laughed softly. Inuyasha would never permit her to touch his ears, which, she thought, was really such a shame, for she loved the way that the silky fur on his ears felt beneath her fingers. Oh well. Her eccentric desire to play with Inuyasha's ears was satiable with Buyo's ears; at least, it'd do for the time being.

With a sigh, Kagome fell backwards onto her bed, staring aimlessly up at her ceiling. She supposed that she was no longer mad at the hanyou; she had never really been _that_ mad at him in the first place, but instead, _embarrassed_. Of course she had known that he had been listening to her "private" conversation with Sango about not having a boyfriend. After all, the idiot spent most of his time spying on the two of them anyway- Kagome guessed that part came from being around Miroku too much...

Anyways, she hadn't minded that he was listening- at least, until he had made that comment about it. She had never expected him to remark about the topic, because it was unlike him to do so. He never acknowledged that he was eavesdropping, even on the several occasions that she had dragged him out of his hiding place in the bushes or wherever. What was overbearingly offensive was his comment.

_"You know, I bet you don't have a boyfriend because of your mouth," Inuyasha had stated matter-of-factly, his arrogant tone drifting into her ear. _

Infuriated, Kagome had marched right up to the tree that he was lounging in and demanded to know what he meant by that rude remark. Maybe he was apathetic, or maybe he was just _stupid_; he actually nodded at her and started elaborating on the comment! So, anger had forced her to say the "s" word, something that she always regretted doing after saying it. Except when he deserved it.

Buyo mewed loudly, licking her cheek and distracting her momentarily from her thoughts. Kagome smiled. "You're so easy to talk to, Buyo," she muttered. If only talking to Inuyasha was the same; things would really be so much easier in terms of communication. One thing she knew for sure was that it would be a lot less harder for her to tell him how she really felt about him...

Especially considering the fact that everyone _else_ knew about it. Kagome blushed. After weeks and weeks of suspicion, the demon exterminator had finally pried and pried until she had gotten a full confession of Kagome's feelings for the half-demon. Sango could be very persistent if need be, and in repayment for her perseverance for the truth, she had been the first to know.

And if Sango knew about it, then Miroku probably knew about it as well. Which was not to say that Kagome didn't trust Sango to keep a secret- it was just that Sango and Miroku conversed often, and she was sure that this was bound to poke its way into one of their conversations sooner or later. Miroku and Sango were able to confide in each other, and Kagome was sure that they told each other everything.

Kagome grinned, thinking about what she in turn had pestered Sango into confessing about her personal relationship with the perverted monk. Well, maybe not _everything_.  

But the humor in the thought of Sango and Miroku becoming more than friends was only a fleeting distraction from her own problems in her relationship with Inuyasha. Kagome turned over on her side, biting her lip. It wasn't as if she could do anything about it right this second. Inuyasha was in the feudal era right now, probably still thinking that she was upset with him. Maybe a good night's sleep would clear up her jumbled thoughts. Sleep itself sounded like a good idea, Kagome decided, yawning exhaustedly. She'd apologize in the morning.

Already beginning to drift off, she forced herself to get up and turn the lights off. The moment that the light switch was flipped off, Kagome had the indistinct feeling that she was being watched. But, being too tired to care at the moment, she slowly trudged towards her bed, Buyo's outline being illuminated by the moonlight dancing over her window.

"I'll just apologize tomorrow to him, Buyo," Kagome remarked, stifling another yawn.

As she passed her window, her eyes absently swept over the view outside.

A moment later, her eyes widened. She was consumed with the desire to sleep, but not enough so that she could possibly miss _that_. Knowing that she'd recognize that ear anywhere, Kagome narrowed her eyes, feeling all of her exhaustion crumbling away and being replaced with her fury.

Marching over to the window, she peeked outside. The ear was gone, but she knew that its owner was still probably listening outside. She furiously wrenched the window open. "Inuyasha!" she yelled, her echo piercing the night with a wicked vengeance.

A few seconds later, there was a soft cry of "Damn it!" and the unmistakable creak of a branch as it snapped. A heavy thud accompanied the sounds, and all was serene once more. She leaned out the window, searching for any clue that he had been right there. Where was he? She was certain that she had seen the golden flare of his eyes...

* * *

Crap! He'd been spotted! What should he do? Inuyasha looked up- and immediately wished he hadn't; Kagome had stuck her head out of the window and was scouring the ground with her eyes for any trace of him.

Only one thing to do.

Be a man about it and confess to her what he was doing?

_Hell_ no.

Retreat! Retreat!

Acting with haste, he made a dash for it, his heart beating rapidly as he scrambled around the house, ducked into the shrine and dove into the well. As the familiar blue aura wrapped his body in a case of light, Inuyasha found himself thinking miserably that Lesson Number One had failed.

Oh well, he sighed.

Nine lessons left.

* * *

(A.N. Yes, I know- I've started yet _another_ story without updating/finishing the other ones! Why can't I stop? Eep. I apologize for my lack of organization, and especially for the huge delay in updates recently. I stopped writing for a couple of months to study for SATs in May, and now I'm taking them again on Saturday. I still have studying to do for Finals, so it might take up a decent amount of my time. I really do apologize for this inconvenience. When school is over, I'll probably have more time to write- and update, of course. In any case, I hope that you guys like this brand new story from me. If you have any comments, please review! Keep watching for updates, because they're coming your way soon! Thanks!)


	2. Innocent Jealousy

Ten Lessons in Love

Chapter 2

The monk grinned in amusement after watching the hanyou dive into the well with precipitation. The damn fool had been pacing back and forth for a good hour or so contemplating whether or not he would actually follow through with Miroku's advice. Every time Inuyasha seemed as if he were about to jump into the well, he would fall into a storm of doubt, and quickly amble off into the opposite direction.

By the time Inuyasha had neared a decision, the sky had already turned to night, and the glittering in the clouds marked the shining of the first stars. Miroku had gritted his teeth, twitched- an instinctive reaction that came from Sango, of course- and had _calmly _told Inuyasha that he should get a move on. What was it that he had said again? Ah, yes. He remembered it now.

"If you don't jump into that damn well, I'll throw you down there myself!" Miroku snapped at the hanyou, his brows knitted together in a stern expression of disgust and irritation.

When the half-demon made no move to acknowledge or heed the monk's words, Miroku had actually tried to shove him over the well's edge, hoping that if the hanyou's legs hit the side of the dilapidated stone wall, that he would trip and fall in. Unfortunately, he hadn't really taken into account how much stronger Inuyasha was than him, so he had spent several moments sweating in exhaustive- not to mention futile- efforts to actually push the stupid idiot a few centimeters forward.

It was to Miroku's dismay that he realized Inuyasha had not moved an inch. So, being the clever man that he was, thought of something that he knew would get the hanyou moving.

Jealousy.

"You know, it's actually best if you didn't see her tonight," Miroku commented casually, resting his hands back by his sides.

_Inuyasha's head snapped back around faster than lightening. "What? Why not?" He glared suspiciously at the monk, his golden eyes solemnly anticipating the worst. _

_"Because her friend Hojo is going to visit her," the monk shrugged. _

_"What!" Inuyasha roared. "That prissy boy? What the hell is he going to be doing there! How do you know?"_

_It was all Miroku could do from grinning. He suppressed his amusement at the hanyou's temper, shrugging again. "Well, she mentioned something about it to Sango, and I just 'happened' to overhear. Kagome said something about it being a study-date?"_

_Date._

_That one single word struck a nerve for Inuyasha, never mind that it was attached to the word "study". His fingers balled up into a shaking fist. "He...that little..I'm going to kill him!" _

And with that, he had taken off, crossing through to Kagome's time period. Boy would he be pissed when he realized Miroku had lied to him. Oh well. It had already been a major waste of time for Inuyasha to just sit around, anyway, Miroku thought to himself. Inuyasha and Kagome would probably end up kissing up a storm if all things went well, especially because it was _his _tip.

Inuyashas couldn't _possibly _end up screwing things further than he already had. Miroku rolled his eyes, wondering how in the hell Inuyasha had gotten himself so tangled up in stupidity that he had failed to catch Kagome's ill-concealed biting tone, and after all, the hanyou had those super-sensitive ears; how could he not hear what everyone else could?

Miroku groaned. Maybe Inuyasha _could _make things worse. He was a heck of a lot more stubborn than anyone he'd ever met before. Well, except for Kagome. And Sango, too. He paused, deep in thought over the whole matter.

Now that he thought about it, even though Inuyasha was quite stubborn, he could not match the stubbornness of Kagome. There was no way that the hanyou's physical claws could do more damage than Kagome's sharp tongue. Those two were _perfect_ together, Miroku grinned, shaking his head.

Delving further into the matters of who was more stubborn, one name came to mind. Sango. The fiery demon exterminator never backed down from a challenge, nor was she ever on the losing side of a fight that she was in involved in. He frowned, thinking carefully. It seemed that her anger never exploded without taking Miroku down with it. But she appeared all the more irresistible when she was furious, the monk mused in a trance, unaware that his lips had curved into a half-formed, deliriously lovesick smile.

"Is he gone?" Shippo asked from beside him, startling the monk out of his thoughts. All his images of Sango fluttered from his mind, leaving nothing but a desolate wake behind. Miroku grimaced at this, glancing subconsciously back towards Kaede's hut. Could Sango really stay mad at him for that long? He sighed and turned back to Shippo. The kitsune had been strangely silent all night, having uttered not a word- except to occasionally insult Inuyasha, that is.

"That he is," Miroku replied.

"Hmmph," Shippo snorted. "It took him long enough."

Miroku paused, lifting a brow at this remark. "Is something the matter then, Shippo?"

The kitsune bristled before kicking at the soil with the tip of his foot. "Nah," he muttered.

"I see." The monk tapped his chin distractedly, struggling to decode the kit's actions and demeanor about the recent events. "So. Now that you know the first lesson of love, is there anyone that you have in mind to try it out on?" Miroku smiled, teasing the kitsune slightly in an obvious subject change.

Shippo stiffened, nearly tripping, and blushed before restraining his emotions. "N-no way! Love is gross!"

Miroku sighed deeply. "Ah, my friend. You have much to learn about love."

"I do?" Shippo blinked.

"Indeed. But you're still young." He paused to rumple the cub's hair. Shippo stuck his chest out crossly at being treated like a child, only causing Miroku to chuckle with mirth.

Shippo paused for a moment. "Have _you _tried them out on someone?"

"Not yet," Miroku replied nonchalantly.

"Are you going to?"

Miroku smiled, thinking that it was an innocent question. "Sure."

"You mean Sango, right?"

"Sango?" Miroku blinked several times, his pupils lined with confusion. _Sango._ The name started a flutter in his chest. He cleared his throat. "Well, I-"

"And what did you mean when you said that you cared about her as more than a friend? You mean like a brother?"

"That's not exactly what I-"

"You like her, don't you?" Shippo grinned, pointing a finger at the monk, as if he were accusing him of being guilty of a crime. Yes, Miroku was guilty all right. Guilty of loving Sango and being too cowardly to admit it. And yet, people like them did not so easily confess to things such as this. Love was an intricate knot, and he was not sure that he could untangle it so smoothly.

"You _do _like her! I knew it! Why haven't you told her yet? Huh?" Shippo squealed, hopping up and down in excitement.

"Beca-"

"Does she like you back?"

The monk coughed. "Well, I-"

"And if you do like her, how come you hit on all those other women?"

Silence. "...It's complicated."

When had the cub become so inquisitive?

The kitsune scratched his head thoughtfully. "You hit on Sango a lot more than any of the other women..."

"Well, that's because..." The monk was at a loss for words. "...she's...we're just friends..."

"And you're always spying on her, just like Inuyasha spies on Kagome..."

"I..."

"So that must mean..." Shippo frowned, trying to connect the dots. Then the kitsune gasped. "You must _like_ her! No! You lo-" Miroku clamped his hand over Shippo's mouth.

"Shh! She'll hear you!" He glanced towards Kaede's hut, but nothing seemed out of the ordinary.

"So?" Shippo scrunched up his face, frowning at the monk. Love sure was messed up.

Miroku grinned nervously. "Well, you have to wait until just the right moment to tell them."

"Why?"

Miroku slightly felt the grin slide off his face. Man, was the kit annoyi- err...inquisitive! He'd make sure to make Inuyasha pay for leaving him alone so long to explain this to a cub alone. "You have to wait. Otherwise, they'll think you're joking. You know women. If it's not the right moment, they tend to...become angry."

"And slap you."

"...Right."

Shippo huffed indignantly, crossing his arms. "Well, how am I 'sposed to know? I'm just a kid."

Laughing, the monk patted the cub on the head. "Of course." He was glad that was over. And so they sat in silence, Shippo chewed absentmindedly on a blade of glass. The monk raised a brow at the kitsune's behavior. On first appearance, Shippo didn't seem out of the ordinary, but his attention was obvious being distracted with something. Miroku waited patiently for the kit to speak up about what had been bothering him.

"Inuyasha's so stupid. I bet he'll screw things up again with Kagome," the kitsune remarked impulsively out loud.

Miroku blinked.

"All he ever does is screw up. At least _I_ know how to say things to her without offending her."

"Shippo, are you _jealous_?" Miroku suddenly smirked. Ah, it suddenly made sense now. Perhaps it was just the feeling of automatic protection that came with Kagome being the fox demon's surrogate mother, but Miroku loved to push onto the more...interesting side of these affairs.

The kitsune froze, and a blush rose over his cheeks. "W-what! No! I'm not j-jealous! Why would I be?"

"I think you have a crush on Kagome."

"I-I do not!" His cheeks grew redder.

"Ah, budding love. Denial's only the first stage, you know." Miroku placed a finger on his chin as he thought about the situation. "You might have a problem with Inuyasha being in love with her too, you know. With him being a hanyou and all. He'd kill you if he knew how you felt about Kagome. But don't let that get you down! Competition, war, and blood are what love is all about."

He didn't seem to see Shippo, who was jumping up and down, waving his arms, and yelling, "I don't like her!"

"Hmm. What to do about Inuyasha being in the way? A duel to the death seems fit. I'll hold him down for you, and you can do the rest. Or maybe I could just kill him for you. Of course, I don't think that Sango would approve. Or the rest of the world. I'd have to go into hiding, but I'm sure I could live off of berries for...a day or so."

Shippo sweatdropped. Was Miroku _serious_?

The monk blinked, realizing that he was scaring the living daylights out of the young one and chuckled. "I'm only teasing you, Shippo. But you _do_ like Kagome, don't you?"

Shippo blushed furiously, and hung his head low, focusing on the blade of grass he was playing with. "...Maybe a little..."

"That's what I thought," Miroku replied, sighing.

"You won't tell her, right? Or Inuyasha?" Shippo suddenly squeaked.

"No, of course I won't tell them."

"Good."

Just then, the sound of heavy footsteps caught their attention, and both the monk and the kitsune glanced up to find a disgruntled Inuyasha. There were leaves and twigs snagged in his hair, and he looked slightly ruffled and abashed, as if he had been caught doing something that he wasn't supposed to be doing...

"Back so soon?" Miroku asked, lifting a brow. "Either that means that things went well, or..."

"...It means you screwed up!" Shippo intervened, scowling at the hanyou. "You better not have done anything to upset Kagome!"

Inuyasha growled at Miroku. "You lied! And your stupid lesson didn't work!"

"Well, what happened?" The monk asked, amused.

The hanyou lowered his head in shame. "...I got caught."

Miroku groaned, rolling his eyes at the same time. This was going to be much harder than he had expected. "Please don't tell me you told her what you were doing outside of her bedroom window."

"Hell no! _Are you out of your damn mind_? I _ran_ for it!"

"Oooooh. Kagome's going to _kill_ you the next time she comes!" Shippo declared triumphantly. He couldn't help being pleased with the news just a little bit, even knowing that Kagome did like Inuyasha back. Even he wanted the two to confess their feelings for each other- but he wouldn't forget that he had also had a crush on Kagome ever since she took him in.

Miroku and Inuyasha were still talking.

"So what do you plan to do if she acts suspicious on her next visit?"

"I don't know!"

"That's where Lesson Number Two comes in."

"Really? What is it?"

"When ever in doubt- _deny, deny, deny_. That, my friend, is one of the most important lessons that you'll learn in your entire life."

Inuyasha's ears twitched. "Really? Denying everything really works?"

Miroku nodded, crossing his arms. "Try it. I assure you that you won't be disappointed with the results."

Inuyasha sighed. "I hope you're right. So...how do I deny? Isn't that like lying?"

"Not at all!" Miroku replied. "Listen, Inuyasha. It's easy to deny. Any idiot can do it. All you have to do is say, 'You've got no proof!' or 'I have no idea what you're talking about' every time Kagome accuses you of something. Try to vary the phrases every now and then; it helps keep them from getting too suspicious."

Inuyasha nodded, remaining silent for a little while as he practiced the lines in his head.

Miroku couldn't help but feel a swell of pride at his idiotic- or enthusiastic student. Where else could Inuyasha find a better instructor in the mysterious ways of women? Of course, even if things went horribly wrong like they did tonight, at least he would get a few laughs out of it. Ah, the joy of laughter before being beaten up by the furious hanyou. Sometimes amusement came with a painful price.

Inuyasha glared at him suspiciously. "What are you smiling about? It's creeping me out."

Miroku laughed loudly. "I was just thinking of how happy you and Kagome will be with my help. I am proud you came to me with your questions, Inuyasha, and were so _desperate_ for my advice."

Inuyasha growled. "I was _not_ desperate! You _forced_ me into this!"

The monk chose to ignore this. "Anyways, when Kagome comes, I know everything will be just fine."

"They'd better be," the hanyou snarled, "or I'll _kill_ you."

As the hanyou leapt off towards the forest to hide from Kagome until her expectant fury had cooled down, Miroku's smile faded a little. Uh oh.

* * *

(A.N.: Yes, after _months_ of delay, I have finally updated! Because I'm in a rush to post, I'm not going to write much, but for more details on my disappearance, please read the note in my fanfic _First Time, Last Chance_. I am very, very, very sorry to all my readers, but would still like to thank you all from the bottom of my heart for continuing to review and e-mail me in my period of absence. Thank you so much! Much love goes out to all of you!)


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